5 ways you can empower yourself
Need some clarity and focus in your life?
There are absolutely no limits to what you can achieve, especially when you’re equipped with the right tools, the right attitude and the right plan. Bestselling author and psychologist Donna Kennedy gives us five top tips to stop stalling and start living…
1) Stop Comparing
“What do they have? What do I have?”, “How do they look? How do I look?”, “What have they achieved? What have I achieved?” – We have become a fast-paced society of comparisons, benchmarking our value against others’ performance. This is a shame because no matter how much we compare ourselves to others, we will always pull the short straw.
To empower ourselves we must embrace the fact that no two people, even identical twins, are the same. We are all unique and we all have something unique to offer. You have something to offer! When was the last time you focused on and embraced your unique self? When was the last time you stopped to think about how you could hone in on your unique strengths to improve both your life and your business?
Now is a great time to do it! You are an amazing human being that is capable of so much, if only you would accept yourself for who you truly are as a unique individual.
2) Let Go of Old Thinking
It is my belief that we are born happy and over time we are conditioned not to be. Have you ever seen a “negative” baby? Of course not. We are born in a natural state of joy, and over time, like a sponge, we soak up environmental information. The language we speak, our accent, our habits etc. We are learning and being programmed every second from our environmental information, for the most part unconsciously.
This article is word-limited so I cannot possibly go into any great detail about how our environment literally impacts our brains neurology, thoughts and feelings, but I will tell you this – if you want to become truly empowered, you must make sure you expose yourself to good information often.
Become conscious now of what you are exposing yourself to. Your brain is listening and processing your environmental information, neurologically forming your thoughts and habits in the process. Stop using negative language (about yourself too!) and stop listening to bad news. Be around people who help you feel good and avoid people who don’t. If you can’t avoid them, limit your time with them and increase positive exposure. Your life is your responsibility. Cherish it and who you allow create it. Read positive material in books and online, listen to positive CDs etc. anything that will allow your neurology to respond in a positive way.
3) Become Grateful
At one point in my life I wasn’t grateful for much. I focused on everything I didn’t have. I focused on my flaws and the parts of my life I didn’t like, instead of focusing on what I did have. In truth, most of us focus on lack, not abundance.
However, being grateful is so powerful that it actually saved my life (that’s an article in itself!). If you want to empower yourself, I recommend that you adopt an attitude of gratitude daily. Intentionally take time out every day (when you get up or before you go to sleep) to think of ten things you can be grateful for. They can be little things but as soon as gratitude becomes a habit, your thinking will change forever.
4) Get your needs met
I sometimes liken a human being to a plant. A plant has certain needs (water, air, sunlight etc) and if it does not get those needs met in balance,two things will happen:
1) the plant will do all it can to get its needs met, even if it looks miserable in the process. For example, it may curl up its leaves and roots for water or twist itself desperately towards sunlight etc. or 2) It will eventually die.
Humans are no different. We have needs, (physical and emotional), and if we don’t get them met in balance two things can happen:
1) we do all we can to get the needs met, sometimes resorting to a second best or unhealthy alternative, such as addiction, attention seeking, procrastination, over-eating, under-eating etc or…
2) We eventually die. So the key to a happy empowered life is to ensure all your needs are met in balance. Don’t put all your effort into one aspect of your life only to neglect another. Focus on getting overall balance. Our human needs are listed in Chapter 2 of my book, The Confidence to Succeed.
5) Build Good Relationships
Life and business is built on good relationships.
- Look for ways you can help people around you and then accept help when it is offered. Kindness costs nothing, but it has endless benefits.
- Let people know your boundaries (if you don’t know them, you need to identify them!) and respect others’.
- Appreciate and allow yourself to be appreciated. Accept compliments when they are gifted to you.
- Have a good relationship with yourself. How would you treat yourself differently, if you became your own best friend? Would you be so critical or would you be kinder to yourself?
- Remember, you are worthy of everything wonderful!If you want to become empowered and join like-minded women for a day of support, check out the Women’s Empowerment Summit, which takes place on March 26th in Dublin. You can get tickets here: http://womensempowermentsummit.ie
Donna Kennedy (BA Psych (hons), MHGC, MNLP) is a 3 time best-selling author, psychologist, business and life coach and professional speaker.